Growing up, I never gave much thought to the type of family dynamic that I wanted to have… and there were often points in my life where I didn’t know if I wanted to have children…. even right after TJ and I got married. We were enjoying life, and I was always worried how having children would impact that. Obviously, all that changed…..

And when I began to dream of the family I wanted, aside from healthy + happy babies, I secretly (well, actually to friends + family it wasn’t much of a secret) wanted two little girls. Having come from a home with a sister, I can strongly attest to the power of a sister bond. It’s an invaluable relationship, a built in best friend, and a constant safe place to turn to. So when I received the call, at eleven weeks pregnant, with the results of my genetic blood test (since I’m considered “old” by baby birthing standards I needed this extra blood work, which also informed us of our baby’s sex….) my heart was pounding. You just never know. Once I was given the news that no genetic abnormalities had been found, they asked if I wanted to know the sex. Without hesitation I said “Yes…” and when she let me know that they had detected an extra “X” chromosome and that we’d be having a little girl, the tears started to stream down my face. Not at all because I didn’t want a little boy, but because I so desperately wanted for Harper what my sister and I have.

Sibling bonds, in general, are such a blessing…. one that I can’t wait to see grow and flourish in our little ladies. Yet I also imagine it to be a delicate balance on the parenting side… to help nurture + cultivate a home that is supportive of a strong sibling subsystem (at least this was my experience as a therapist)… So a few weeks ago I jotted down a few thoughts and sentiments that I want both our little girls to know about the power of sisterhood…. in hopes that they too will find the bond just as profoundly impactful as I have in my life…..

You don’t have to be exactly alike… cultivate your own interests… share them with each other. I was athletic and Aunty was more into the fine arts. It didn’t interfere in our ability to form a meaningful relationship… in fact, we each contributed something unique and taught each other something new

You’ll argue, fight, + become annoyed with one another, it’s inevitable… but always remember to say sorry and own your half of the disagreement… and don’t let it linger too long… 

As a big sister Harper will naturally boss you around, but know that it comes from a place of love… but as the little sister know you’ll always have someone to come to for advice, since she’s paved the road ahead of you…  

Be there for one another. There is absolutely no greater gift than having a sister… she’s a built in confidant that you know you can trust with anything… and who will always have your back…no matter what. I could say what I wanted to Aunty, and we could argue over silly things, but if anyone crossed a line with her, I was there in a second

Be silly together. There is beauty in knowing you’re not being judged and that you get to be 100% authentically you with each other. 

Be vulnerable. Cry to each other, share your feelings with one another, it builds an amazingly genuine + real connection.

Don’t let jealousy get in the middle of your relationship. Just like the verse says “There is a season for everything….” so to is there a moment for each of you…. They might overlap, may have large gaps, but rejoice in one another’s successes + help the other up when they’re down. 

When your dad and I envisioned our family, we always prayed for healthy children… and then hoped for two little girls…. At the end of the day, we won’t always be here and our hope is that the bond the two of you have will be so strong that you’ll always have one another.

Make time for one another. As you get older, and have life obligations (work, family, etc…) it gets harder to maintain relationships. Set aside time to chat on the phone, a weekend away together once a year, and small little daytime get togethers that can help to keep your bond strong.
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(Outfit Details || My dress | Slip Underneath | Shoes | Crescent Necklaces | Cross Bangle | Bespoke Necklace | Harper’s Dress | Harper’s Shoes | Harper’s Star Necklace | Mommy + Me Purple Bracelets)