I tried to change the topic for today’s wellness post several times. Even told TJ, multiple times, that I had “nothing” to share. In the back of my head I knew that wasn’t true. There had been something weighing on my heart for sometime now, that I knew that someone, somewhere, must be feeling the same. Female friendships. I have been fortunate enough, in my life, to make deep rooted relationships that are still invaluable to me today. They’re still the ones I know I can count on, anytime, any day…. the ones I’d do anything for… and the ones who know where I’ve been, the tears I’ve shed, the laughs I’ve had, and how I got to where I am now. My girlfriend’s mom used to say “If I could only be a fly on the wall when you two are together…” and it’s true. I’ve shared secrets with all of them, and they know my insecurities. One is from birth (if you count that…. our parents were friends before we entered the world), a couple are from my elementary school days, which carried all through middle and high school…. a couple are from college…. and a couple are from graduate school. I have a couple from every stage of my life, which always felt right….

Yet, with all friendships, there comes a transition period… where good friends last. For my oldest friends, it was going off to college. My college friends it was the transition into the “real world…” where many went back to their home towns… and for my graduate school friends it was when we all got different jobs in different counties + didn’t see each other everyday… and I feel blessed that out of all those transitions I have seven friends who I can truly call my best. Yet, there’s a new transition in all our lives that proves to be even more challenging than any of the aforementioned ones….

Parenthood + Careers.

Often times there are weeks that go by without chatting on the phone… months without seeing each other. With different time zones, schedules, and life in general, connecting for any length of time longer than a few back and forth text messages proves difficult. Yet, for someone like myself, who loves my girlfriend time, it has led to some tearful evenings… not because I don’t feel as if I have friends, of that I am 100% certain, but because a part of me longs for that simple day to day connection with a girlfriend who lives a mere five minutes away. I guess the truth is, I haven’t really made any “new” friends in this new phase of my life. Maybe I’ve resisted it slightly. I’ve always loved that my girlfriend relationships were “mine…” separate from my marriage (although, we often do couples things when everyone gets into town…), and my role as a “mom.” While we talk about those roles, what ultimately brought us together was a common interest and bond that was uniquely “us.” And, while I say all of this, the thought of “make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other is gold” readily comes to mind. It’s likely time for me to branch out and make new friends in this season of life. I’m part of a couple mom’s groups, but have kept it at that level. A group where we come together for a couple of hours once a week and then go our separate ways….

Yet, I know the importance of having a strong community of women to life you up…. when women are stressed they have a “tend and befriend” response. To boil it all down, when stressed women need other strong female friendships… it literally helps them to decrease their stress hormones…..

And with a little bit of humor, how do you even go about “making new friends” at this stage in life?? It feels a tad like dating…. it’s amazing how easy it was to make friends in school…. yet, I assume the common bond that brings us together initially is our kiddos, but what will sustain those new friendships, like the ones of the past, will be the continued connection we share, and value, with one another.

And while I wish I could put together a list as to “The Best Ways To Make New Friends….” that’s something I’m working on…. of course, there are obvious ways… like, making the first move (again, kind of like dating) and asking them out for coffee…. or, simply asking them if they want to have a playdate with the kiddos. Simple enough, right? I guess it’s all about coming out of comfort zones, maybe feeling a little bit awkward, for the possibility of a sense of community. I truly believe that strong female friendships make you feel like a babe, even when you’re not feeling that yourself…. and that’s something I always want Harper to see + know….

So, here’s to a new season of “dating….” + finding a strong community of women.

(Leggings | Shoes | Watch | Sweatshirt)