Whenever I write a post about anxiety + stress I always resort to sharing some serene photo like a sunset, or palm trees at the beach. I think it’s because those are “happy scenes” I imagine in my head… calming + relaxed. The exact opposite of what anxiety can do to the body.

Last Tuesday, as I was packing up + prepping to head out of town, I could feel a rising anxiety within me. I could physically feel it…. a tightening in the chest + a racing heart. I knew it was my mind. I had convinced myself that my flight was going to crash… and then snowballed this into what I think every mother’s fear is: I won’t be there to watch my children grow older… I won’t be there to grow old with my husband….

I knew it was anxiety. I knew it was my mind. I knew all the tricks to stop it, I’d taught them to clients for years. Yet I couldn’t get the worry + slight panic to go away. I tried to just be mindful of it (since simply pushing it away wasn’t working) for the remainder of the early evening, but after the girls wen to bed I began to cry + told TJ what I was worried about.

We talked through it. He validated my feelings. Gave me some logical points to challenge my current beliefs. And by the morning, when it was time to board the plane, I felt much better (and much more confident in air travel).

I shared over on instagram and the response was so supportive, with numerous individuals expressing their deep struggles with anxiety. I shared the ways I worked through my anxiety, the same way I would handle a client’s anxiety, and also shared a tangible worksheet of cognitive distortions that can bring about anxiety. It was so well received that I felt it deserved a permanent place here… for anyone else to easily refer back to.

So, I guess today’s post is all about anxiety… the different thoughts we have that contribute to it, how to work through those thoughts and move through the day. I should add here that this post is serving as a simple “psycho-educational” post and not meant to be a form of therapy.
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COGNITIVE DISORTIONS

Based on everything I learned in graduate school, and my experience with clients, I came to the understanding that anxiety (and depression for that matter) can be due to past, or current issues, but that they typically involve several different unhelpful lines of thinking. I’ve included a worksheet (that I used to use) of the various “unhelpful thinking styles” that can contribute to anxiety/depression. Last week, mine was hands down magnification (catastrophising).

WORKING THROUGH THE ANXIETY

So, here’s how I worked through it.

1. Acknowledged My Feelings + Felt Them: I identified my feeling. I’ve always believed this to be such a powerful tool… if we’re aware of our feelings, then we can start to work through them. I acknowledged I was very afraid + allowed myself to cry. Just the simple fact that I was able to voice my feelings + express them in a validating environment made me feel better.

2. Identified My Thoughts + Unhelpful Thinking Pattern: I was readily able to identify that I was catastrophising my situation. I was literally going to the worst possible outcome of a flight.

3. Challenged The Thoughts: Through talking with TJ we were both able to challenge the thoughts I was having with the following:

Air travel is one of the safest forms of travel, tragic car accidents happen daily.

Air crashes are sensationalized in the media, and garner much more attention than car crashes, therefore my mind has “air tragedy” in the forefront (I never have that when I get into my car).

To address feelings that I am “out of control” on a flight since I am not physically flying the plane: I get into über cars all the time (someone else is driving) + the pilots want to return to their families just as much as I do mine.

After that my mind was in a much “calmer” place and by the time I got onto the plane, I was in a very positive place.

I always hope that when I share a personal struggle, or experience, with others that it can be helpful in some way. With that, I hope something here can help if you are experiencing something similar… and that you know you’re not alone. Anxiety is such a real experience for so many people… and I think the more we can talk about it openly the easier it is to seek the help we need to combat it!