While we are now well into the holiday season, with social activities buzzing around us, and making festive merriment, I am always reminded that this time of the year isn’t always filled with joy for everyone. For some, it’s a sad time, remembering the loss of someone, experiencing a recent heartbreak, or feeling a void in their life for various reasons. Or, others are burdened by finances, and worrying about how to make ends meet this time of the year. Some are simply stressed with everything on their plate… having a case of the “holiday blues….” And while I know that might not be the happiest of scenarios, it’s the truth…. and I’d be lying if I said that I haven’t come down with the holiday blues from time to time. So, what’s one to do? I thought about what I used to work on with my clients on around this time of year and came up with a few tips and tricks that I used to use… and still do when I feel a little blue… that I hope will help if you find yourself in one of the above situations…
1. Take Some Me Time: Sometimes, during the holidays, we get so wrapped up in doing things for others… planning the perfect party, finding the perfect gift, making sure everything is crossed off the list, that we forget to take care of numero uno. I was reminded of this when we were traveling back from Park City. The flight attendant specifically came over to us and said “You first with the face mask….” Sometimes the blues come from feeling worn down, depleted of “self energy” as I like to call it (or, as if your bucket is empty… that’s the specific term I use when describing it….). When I’m feeling this way, I like to take an hour for myself (at night, while Harper naps, or hire a babysitter for a little while) and do something I like…. get a manicure, take a nap (actually, I never nap…. but if that’s your cup of tea go for it!), read a book (likely one I started months ago…), take a bath (ohhh, and read a book), do a face mask…. just do something that makes you feel good about yourself… something to fill that bucket.
2. Release On The Gift List: I used to have client’s parents talk to me about this all the time. They would stress about everyone they “have to buy a gift for.” I always took that time to explore the idea of “gift giving” with them… where the notion of “having” to purchase a gift for that person came from. And while I’m not going to do that today, it’s something I’ve looked at, and something I think is valuable in understanding where the stress is coming from. Gift giving ought to be something that is fun…. for me, personally, I don’t want anyone stressing about giving me a gift… nor do I want to stress about buying someone a gift. People who love and care about you shouldn’t be mad if you can’t get them a gift. I think it’s always important to remember that gifts don’t have to be monetary in nature, or “big” to convey thought and love. Some alternative gift ideas that I have found to speak more than monetary ones includes offering to help someone in some way (if you have a family member who is a mom, offer her an hour or two to herself… trust me, that’s like gold)…. or pet sit someone’s dog when they go out of town. Offer to have a friend over for a glass of wine and conversation, as opposed to “giving” an actual gift. I am always reminded of the saying, “Collect moments, not things….” and sometimes approaching gift giving from that angle can really give it a new perspective…. and help release any financial hardship that might be burdening you this season… and put the fun back into the act.
3. Give Back: Sometimes, when I feel blue during the holidays, I take some time to give back. It’s not always in a demonstrative manner, but often times an extra tip for the person giving me my iced tea… or buying some extra groceries in the store for the homeless person I saw waiting outside… or, grabbing coffee for a friend just because. Or, one of my favorites is taking cookies to a retirement home…. I used to do this in high school and it always put a smile on their face, and mine. It’s amazing what acts of kindness can do to your mood.
4. Schedule In Fun: While the holidays are typically a festive time of year filled with various get togethers, sometimes calendars don’t fill up, and that’s enough to make someone feel blue… a little isolated. The perfect anecdote to that is to schedule in fun. Simply put, schedule in what you want to do. Grab a fun girl’s brunch (or HH… or just have mimosas at brunch…. leave the kiddos at home… actually eat your food….), plan a festive day with your family (there are lots of tree lighting ceremonies… and often times each town has special events for the holidays if you go to their website….), have a cookie baking afternoon with family, or plan a festive holiday movie marathon. It’s those little things that will have you looking forward to the season…. and not feel so isolated.
5. Talk To Someone: This might sound super basic, but it’s so helpful. Sometimes just chatting about what’s making you feel blue can help in so many ways. Feeling heard is validating, you may gain a different perspective, or that person may have experienced what you’re going through. I often feel when I am feeling a little down, simply chatting with TJ, a friend, or family member helps me feel better….
That’s it! If you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them as well!
*As a disclaimer, I am not talking about severe depression. If you feel you might be suffering from something other than “seasonal blues” I recommend you speak with your healthcare provider.
(Outfit Details || Coat | Pullover | Scarf | Boots | Harper’s Beanie | Harper’s Leggings | Harper’s Boots | Harper’s Jacket)
