The saying “The days are long, but the years are short….” is so true. Not that I have many years under my belt, but it’s hard for me to believe that two years have gone by since that evening I went into labor. I never thought I would, but I’m totally going to be that mom that says “I remember the night you were born like it was yesterday…” because, I do. I mean, how can I forget the night/day that made me a mother. Kinda impossible if you ask me (although, there are moments from that process I wouldn’t mind forgetting…). I shared Harper’s little birthday celebration here, but it was a small get together with immediate family. Yet it wasn’t short on love. Annnd, in writing today’s post, I couldn’t help but look back on my first motherhood post ever…. so, without rambling on any further, I bring you my 2 year motherhood update….
(Joggers, Sweater, Sandals, Harper’s outfit is sold out)
General Thoughts: Sometimes I don’t even know where to begin with my “general thoughts…” since I typically have so many. I read somewhere that “Motherhood is a choice you make everyday, to put someone else’s happiness and well-being ahead of your own, to teach the hard lessons, to do the right thing even when you’re not sure what the right thing is… and to forgive yourself, over and over again, for doing everything wrong.” And while I don’t believe you should ever neglect yourself in motherhood (it’s not good for anyone) it’s a daily choice, to make conscious decisions, throughout the day, for the well being of your little ones… and sometimes I get it wrong, and sometimes I get it right… and I guess that’s the entire journey of parenthood…. especially as we enter into this stage of “two-dom” (yes, I know that’s not a word… but it feels like it just fits…). She tests limits daily (sometimes with a little smirk on her face….) has an ever growing curiosity, strives for independence in everything she does, and is finding her little voice in our family (mostly with the word “no….”). I am challenged daily, my patience is pushed to the limit… and then she goes and does something cute beyond words and it’s as if everything else washes away….
I also had my first major freak out moment as a mom. TJ was out of town this past week for work, and as I was finishing dinner, Harper jumped on the couch (again, testing limits), landed on a cushion, which propelled her forward into the coffee table. I watched as it all unfolded within seconds… I immediately freaked out, knowing the outcome wasn’t going to be good based on the sound I head. I scooped her up and scanned her face. Sure enough, blood in the mouth and a knot in her forehead…. I immediately called TJ and my mom…. between tears (I hate blood… and the mouth, I learned, is a very bloody area). We eventually got the bleeding to subside, and after consulting with the pediatrician, determined that she was going to be just fine. The doctor ordered popsicles to numb the mouth, so my mom raced some over. Needless to say, I am sure that was my induction into that “heart dropping” fear that parents witness as they see their child in danger… I also think we’ll be frequent fliers of the ER and doctor’s office… little miss is literally fearless (although, she hasn’t jumped on the couch again since…..).
All that to say, the more and more I talk with (honest) moms, I realize that we are all doing our best to survive… to do what’s best for our little ones… all while balancing marriage, jobs, friendships, and a desire to cultivate our inner interests. We have to cut ourselves slack, look to one another for support, and at the end of the day know that tomorrow is always a fresh start….
(My cardigan, tee, jeans, mules, Harper’s sweatshirt, jeans)
Sleeping: We experienced a major sleep regression the week of Christmas. She was up several times throughout the evening, sometimes just chatting, and other times screaming for us (which is when we went in to get her). A few evenings we had to have her sleep on our chest, on the couch, just so she could get in some sleep. I, of course, had a catastrophic thought that we were reverting back to the early days…. but, as usual…. everything returned to normal after about a week and a half, and for that, I am grateful.
She’s still sleeping in her crib. There was a brief moment when I thought she was ready to make the transition, when she started to climb out, but it seemed to just be a phase and hasn’t happened since…. Now that I write this it’ll likely happen again next week……
Eating: This girl loves to eat. We lucked out that she likes a wide variety of foods, so she is able to eat 90% of the foods we eat (some she just isn’t a huge fan of… like zucchini….). She refuses to sit in her high chair anymore… and really doesn’t want to sit in a booster. She prefers to sit in the “Big Girl” chair…. which is pretty much a regular chair at this point (as in, don’t even try anything other than that…).
As far as snacks go, she loves Purely Elizabeth granola, Annie’s snacks (I may or may not sneak a few bites of those here and there….), apple slices, bananas, dried cranberries and banana chips, Love Grown O’s, grapes, and Naturally Clean Eats Bars.
Limit Setting + Consequences: I haven’t had this section in here before, but figured that since this is “that stage” it might be good to share some of the techniques I am personally using. They might not be for everyone, but they seem to work pretty well for us. I use a lot of contingency statements such as “When, then” + “If, then” statements (“When you put your shoes on, then we can go to the park…”) which I find is typically a good way of helping her to feel like she is in charge of making the choice. If she doesn’t put her shoes on, she doesn’t get to go to the park. She knows what is expected, her choice. I also provide her with choices. We’ve been having issues with changing her diaper… so instead of battling her on it, I tell her that she has to have her diaper changed, but she can choose where we change it. Again, makes her feel as if she has more of a say in the process, which is pretty much what this age wants (based on my education….). Another example is when she refuses to wear shoes. I tell her she has to wear them, but can pick out whatever pair she wants. Doesn’t always match, but if it gets us out of the house without a tantrum, I don’t care. I give her countdowns too, since I’ve realized that immediately ending any activity is not a good idea. I start with 5 minutes (even though she doesn’t fully understand time, it’s a warning that I’m going for) and then remind her every minute after that. When it’s transition time, I might get a little protest, but when I remind her that we can do it again another time, it’s usually fairly easy (note the word usually….)
As far as consequences go, we will be starting time-outs over the next few weeks (just need to get a specific chair) and start with 1 minute for behaviors such as throwing…. I do a lot of redirecting for other behaviors that are easy to redirect. When I tell her “no” I also like to tell her what I prefer to see (i.e. We don’t throw food, we eat food and it stays on our plate). If she’s in the middle of a tantrum I try to distract her with something else…. or make a game out of something to change the mood around….
Annnd, when there is a tantrum in a public place I simply get out of there as fast as I can… whether that means I’m holding her like a football while she kicks and screams. We. Leave. Done.
Note…. all of this comes from my training as a therapist. I made none of this up on my own and don’t know what I would do if I hadn’t had it.
Favorite Products: With Harper’s birthday and Christmas coming one after the other, we have a lot of new “things” that she is currently obsessed with. She love, loves these blocks, train and train tracks, trampoline (this is great for getting out all that excess energy), Minnie Mouse purse, this cute little stuffed animal, and doll. For bath time these crayons + letters have been a real hit (so much so it’s almost impossible to get her out….). A few clothing items she recently received include these glitter kicks, pink sparkle kicks, heart bomber jacket (baby size), peplum tee, and cute LOVE tee.
What I’m Looking Froward To: As challenging as I’m anticipating this next year to be, there are so many things I am looking forward to…. she loves dancing, so I am going to enroll her in some dance classes. I’m also loving her language development and look forward to seeing that flourish. Pre-school is on the horizon (I can’t believe we’ll be looking at them next month) and with that comes some many new experiences…
She has the biggest heart… when she sees that someone is sad, she comes up to them and gives a big hug and says “awww….” she also loves making expressions in the mirror… and has this never ending bounty of energy that I wish I cold bottle up. She is one determined, unstoppable force and I can’t wait to see where this takes her in this next year of life!
