(Harper’s Sweater | Skirt | Booties | My sweater)

 Hard to believe that it’s been three years since Harper was born. I feel like an old cliché when I say “I remember the day you were born….” but it’s impossible to forget, since it’s a day that forever changed our lives. So today I bring you my “Motherhood Update” of three years…. general thoughts and reflections, challenges + joys… and everything in between….

General Thoughts:

I’ve started this post, stopped, and restarted this section so many different times… and I’m not one hundred percent certain as to why. Yet as I look over all the photos I’ve included in today’s post (3 years worth) I keep coming back to the thought that motherhood has been one of the biggest joys, and challenges, in my entire life. In the three short years of being a mother I’ve learned so much about myself, changed, and have grown in ways I never could had I not become a mother.  No one can fully prepare you for the role you’re about to take on when you’re pregnant, and about to give birth, for the first time. The changes you will go through… personally, relationally, and physically… aren’t something a book, or person, can prepare you for.

For me, the transition into motherhood wasn’t the easiest. I went from being very comfortable with the life I had created for myself personally + relationally with TJ, that becoming a mother was a shock to that system. And while I loved Harper dearly, and felt so incredibly blessed to be her mother, it still didn’t take away from the fact that it was challenging (nursing was one of my biggest challenges, personally). There were shifts in our marriage that we had to navigate, shifts to my personal identity that I needed to come to terms with, and changing schedules and lifestyles that needed to be accommodated to. While this doesn’t all happen over night, with intention, conversation, and help, we were able to slowly ease into our roles as parents, and myself as a mother….

And if there is one thing I’ve learned the most since becoming a mom, it’s that flexibility is key. In everything. Just when you think you have everything figured out, things change. Juuuuust as we thought we had settled into such an amazing routine with Harper… one where everything clicked, where we were all in sync, and felt like we had a great rhythm going…. we go and decide to add to our little family… and start the process all over again!

While I’m nervous for the changes that will happen come April, I am also excited. We’ve already gone through the adjustment of becoming parents once…. we have a general idea of the changes that will occur… the sleepless nights we will endure… the demands of a newborn… so that blow won’t be as big of a shock to the system. Yet, we will have to navigate the changing dynamics of a family…. how to balance having two little ones, dividing our time, balancing our marriage, and still addressing our own personal needs.

Motherhood isn’t for the faint of heart!

SLEEP:

Well, we officially made the transition to a big girl bed…. it wasn’t intentional, just sort of happened, but that works too. Since Harper had been sick for the past week, we woke up with her throughout the night and slept with her in the guest bed that was in her room to provide her with comfort (since her temporary room has been in my parent’s guest room)… after she started feeling better, she said she wanted to sleep there for her naps, and in the evening, so we tried it out, and it’s worked out well so far (not that there would be going back at this point….). Being that we’ll be making the transition into our new home over the weekend, we made the decision to purchase her a bed (along with the railings). My initial thoughts were that we’d transition to the new home, have her get used to life there, and then work on the transition… but if I’ve learned anything over the last three years, it’s that flexibility is crucial.

POTTY TRAINING:

I know I’ve talked about this in the last motherhood update, but I’ve received a lot of questions on it as of late and thought I’d chat about it for a bit here. I used the 3 Day Potty Training Method, and we had great success with the process. I waited a while though, until Harper was very ready. She was telling us when she went to the bathroom, and was starting to take her diapers off, so we decided that it was a good time to begin the process. We followed the method closely, gave her lots of positive praise, allowed her to pick out her underwear, and literally stayed at home for three days straight. By the end of the second day I’d say she was pretty much potty trained (with the exception of a couple accidents), and after three days she was able to tell us when she needed to use the restroom.

All that to say, we did have difficulty in potty training her at night. That took about two weeks to master. I started to notice that she was wetting herself every evening around 2am. It ended up being an hour long process to clean it up and then get her back to bed (that’s what took the longest). To address this, I would wake myself up at 1am, go in and take her out of bed (she would still be asleep), and then she would go to the bathroom while still in a very sleepy state (I was skeptical this would work at first, but the articles I read said that the cool air would make them go to the bathroom, even if they were asleep)…. I’d then put her right back to bed. The entire process took 15 minutes tops. After several nights, she started to wake up on her own and let us know she needed to use the restroom.

I feel as if potty training is one of those parental rites of passage that can bring about so many different challenges, so I’m just happy to have that behind us. If you’re considering it, just have patience and know that they will eventually get it!

EATING:

We’ve for sure entered the picky stage of eating…. and getting creative does get a little more difficult. Yet I try my best to get her to eat as many fruits and vegetables with her chicken nuggets (I swear she could eat these for breakfast, lunch, and dinner) as I can. Some of her favorites include blueberries, raspberries, strawberries, cantaloupe, apple slices, peas, broccoli, and carrot slices. I try to get some spinach and zucchini into that diet with a banana + strawberry smoothies.

FAVORITE PRODUCTS:

Lots of favorite things in Harper’s world these days! As I’ve mentioned over on instagram, girl hates wearing pants as of late (massive meltdown), so we bought her a bunch of these soft t-shirt dresses (long sleeve) that she pretty much lives in. We purchased her this camera + basketball set for her birthday and she loves both of them…. she’s become quite good at taking photos of Captain and her lunches. She also loves putting her dolls in this little stroller and taking them for walks. She also got this glider bike for Christmas… over the past several weeks her balance has really increased and she’s been having so much fun with it… as well as this adorable little pink remote control car. For arts + crafts she’s been loving this easel.

CHALLENGES:

Harper is most definitely in the threen-ager stage. Asserting her likes/dislikes (hence the no pants), stating her opinions, and testing the limits… almost on a daily basis. I try my best to be patient, take deep breaths, see the humor, remind myself of all the training I have in this area… and some days I still lose my patience. And on those days Harper and I come together and say that we’re going to “start the day over.” Fresh start.

Tricks I try to use regularly are countdowns (letting her know when the time to end a preferred activity will be happening… 5 minutes, 2 minutes, 1 minute, 30 seconds….), logical consequences (i.e. if she throws a ball in the house, she loses the ball), “if then” + “when then” statements (“when Harper sits down at the table then she can have xyz….”), and choices (I try to do this as much as possible to help her feel empowered to make decisions…. ex: pineapple or apple slices, these shoes or these shoes, etc….).

And while I hate to ever come across as complaining, parenting a toddler while pregnant is just downright exhausting. The second trimester has been much better…. but as I get bigger, picking her up and other activities I took for granted when I wasn’t pregnant, are becoming much more difficult. At the end of the day, no matter how great it might have been, I’m spent.

JOYS:

And while I just shared an entire section on the challenges, there are truly so many joys to this age. Harper’s increased ability to talk and converse makes conversations so much fun with her…. Watching her develop her skills, and the pride/accomplishment she feels melts my heart. Her desire to help makes me so excited to see her as a big sister. The fact that she’s an active participant in family life, makes it that much special… she requests to say prayers before dinner…. her “I love you’s” can melt your heart…. and her boundless energy is something I’m in constant awe of (and wish I could bottle up and take myself….).