(Pants | Sweater | Harper’s Dress | Camille’s Pants | Camille’s Pullover)
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I haven’t done a motherhood update in a couple of months… which is a testament to how quickly I feel time has been going. I swear there are times that I look at Camille and still think she’s 7 months old… when she’s actually 10 months…. two short months away from being a year old (whaaaat??!). And then my mind starts to wander and wonder where the year went… how much change has occurred for us all… especially little miss…

The past few months have been filled with motherhood ups and downs. Feeling like I have this “mother of two” thing down solid and then feeling as if I have failed, miserably, in some way…..

Someone shared a message with me yesterday and it was about a podcast they had just listened to and the concept of the “good enough mother.” It really resonated with me, and while I won’t get into all of it here, she ended the message with a kind reminder that the simple fact that we care so much about being a good mother makes us a good mom and that we’re trying our hardest.

I appreciated that encouragement, and wanted to pass it along to anyone else who just might need to hear that too. And without further rambling from me, I’ll share a few highlights from the past couple of months…..

SLEEPING

So, right after I shared my last motherhood update, Camille started having 1-2 middle of the night wakings. I’ll never forget the first one, because it was so out of character. It was the evening of TJ’s work Christmas party. We’d had a babysitter + just assumed she hadn’t eaten enough or that she was wanting to see us since the evening was slightly different. So we made her a bottle, and she fell back asleep. A couple of hours later she was up again. This went on for 2 weeks, with a day here or there where she would sleep through the night. So we assumed it was teething, or a sleep regression, etc….

But then it persisted for another week. I remember one evening that week going into her room at night and she smelled of urine. Her diaper was so heavy, so I obviously changed it, and then she went right back to sleep. At that moment I assumed her regular daytime Honest diapers weren’t cutting it so I immediately purchased the Honest overnight diapers. The first night she slept through the night, the second night she slept through the night, and on the third evening she started the waking cycle again.

I contacted my sleep consultant and she recommended some changes that didn’t work (not because she wasn’t knowledgable, they just weren’t the answer to the problem). I took to instagram and several moms mentioned that they had the same problem and once they switched their kiddos to Huggies overnight the little ones started sleeping through the night again. It took me all of five minutes to make that purchase. Since, we’ve returned to our regular sleeping and I am eternally grateful to those mommas.

As far as Harper’s sleep goes, she back to being on a 7:30pm to 7/7:30am schedule. For about a month we had to move her bedtime up to accommodate for her dropped afternoon naps + challenging evening behaviors. Over the last month we have extended that bedtime by small increments and she can now successfully make it to 7:30pm…. and when her head hits the pillow she falls right to sleep.

EATING

Another area that is pretty Camille heavy. It’s hard to believe that we’re almost out of the formula stage with her… only a couple more months. I do think I am a little behind, but we’ve recently started introducing a lot of finger foods… and it’s taking some time (Harper was already eating salmon at this age…ooops!). Anyway, we try to give her a lot of variety… bananas, blueberries, rice, pasta, green beans, peas, avocados, oatmeal, eggs (that wasn’t a hit), cottage cheese, carrots (steamed), and anything else we are having for dinner I try to give it in a modified form to her. Like I said, slower going than it was with Harper, but I’m hopeful we will get there.

THREENAGER STATUS

We’ve been having some major meltdowns over here. On. The. Regular. I shared the following story over on instagram but felt I should share it here as well:

Wednesday morning I had a playdate for Harper scheduled with a family/friend a few blocks down from us. We had gotten açai bowls in the morning, and Harper didn’t each much of hers, had a small snack, and then we walked down over to our friend’s house. Everything was all fun + games as I pushed Camille in the stroller + Harper rode her scooter. When we arrived at their house, Harper + the other little girl immediately started playing with one another: running around, playing dress up, swinging on the swings, etc. When it was time to eat lunch, Harper wanted to continue playing so much that she had one sliver of quesadilla and one grape (Camille ate more grapes than she did… just the insides). I knew that wouldn’t bode well, but I also don’t like to make her eat when she tells me she is full. So I let it go.

I gave her my typical countdown warnings (10 minutes and then we’re going, 5 minutes and then we’re going, 2 minutes… 1 minute). When it was time to go she continued to play and asked for 1 more minute. I compromised (although in my mind I knew what was going to happen already) and told her I would set my alarm for one minute (usually setting the alarm can help as it’s more the “alarm” telling her than my… something we used to encourage parents to do in therapy). When my alarm went off she didn’t want to leave (surprise) and I knew we were on the verge of a meltdown (she hadn’t eaten + had woke up about 45 minutes earlier than usual, so tired as well). I tried all my therapeutic tricks (when then statements, validating her feelings, etc) to avoid further escalation, but nothing was working. I don’t remember how she got into the stroller, I think I offered some of Camille’s snacks. Either way, she threw a tantrum the entire way home.

I could feel my blood boiling and at one point I was going to stop the stroller + get super firm with her. Yet I stopped myself and evaluated my own feelings. I asked myself what was making me so mad at her. She was expressing her feelings, albeit in a way that we don’t like, and is still learning how to express her big emotions. What it basically boiled down to was that I was embarrassed. Worried about what people were thinking of me as a mom. And the look from the older male neighbor almost pushed me over the edge….

After reflecting, I was able to really reframe the situation and handle it in a way that didn’t escalate her already big emotions. I reminded myself that the onions of my neighbors don’t truly matter (and neither should those of random people anywhere) and that how I handle this situation matters more. Owning my own feelings really gave me space to allow her to express hers (even though they could have been expressed in a better way).

Once we got inside (TG) Harper was still crying. I let her know that I was here for her, that I understand that she is sad she had to leave, but that right now I needed a minute to myself. I took a moment, some deep breaths, some CBD oil. At that point she had calmed down + was sitting on the couch.

Since she was calm, I knew she would be in a position to talk. So I took her onto my lap + just gave her a big hug. And then we talked about what happened, talked about starting over, and I let her know the consequences for her behavior. Then we started the day over again.

All that to say, toddlers have BIG emotions. They also test limits. It’s a fine balance we somehow have to find as parents. And it’s not always easy. I draw most of my parenting from “The Whole Brain Child” (which I feel as if I share in every motherhood update) + “The Conscious Parent.” Just wanted to share those here in case anyone is interested. Very helpful parenting books.

FAVORITE MOMENTS

I think my all time favorite moments from the past month have to be watching Harper + Camille actually play together. For a few mornings, Camille was waking up before Harper. After Camille had her morning bottle she’d crawl down the hallway, push open Harper’s door, go in, and wake her up. Harper loved it and I thought it was the cutest thing ever. I know we will have many moments, years to come, where they’re super annoyed with one another, so I want to savor these moments before they start tattling telling on each other.

CURRENT FAVORITE PRODUCTS

Harper: We’re loving these unicorn slip-ons, this little leopard dress, leopard nightgown, ombre water bottle, and the trampoline we bought her for her birthday.

Camille: We’re still huge fans of this Babybjorn high chair, these pacifiers, puff snacks (girl loves these), these feeding spoons, and this leopard onesie.