On the way home from Hawaii, when Harper was sleeping (that rare block of time when it actually happens on the plane…), TJ and I had a brief moment to chat about the trip in general. We talked about our favorite moments (too many to recall) and chuckled about some of the more difficult moments…. namely, the limit testing of a toddler (which happened daily…)….

If I’m being honest, sometimes when we were down at the pool, I couldn’t help but look around at the little tikes who were calmly sitting in their mom’s laps. Uncertain of the water…. content to just chill and relax. Flash over to our corner of the pool…. our little miss is jumping in and out, over and over and over again. Sliding down my legs into the water (it wasn’t as unsafe as it sounds….), pointing out every kiddo by the color they were wearing (“look a pink baby….”), and throwing the ball around…. or bobbing up and down in the waves with TJ for hours… body surfing in her own little way…. pretty much wanting nothing to do with the term “relaxation.”

And, as I did that, I also immediately reminded myself of a few things. Every child is different. Just like every adult is different. Their littler personalties are uniquely theirs. My responsibility (and TJ’s too) as her mother is to find a fine balance between allowing that firecracker personality to flourish and grow, and setting appropriate limits around her to allow that to happen in a safe manner. I want her to voice her opinions, to be fearless in her pursuit of what makes her passionate, and to be confident in her life choices…. yet, I also want her to know boundaries + limits, to be compassionate + tolerant, and to love fiercely…..

Which is exactly why I always wanted a little girl. I wanted to be able to teach her that she could be anything + do anything, and still have a huge heart full of love. And I know that she learns all of this through her first relationships with TJ + myself. As we encourage that little firecracker personality and help her channel it in appropriate ways, she learns confidence. As we set limits to her testing behaviors she learns boundaries and feels safe to explore….

So, while I sat there for a moment contemplating what it would be like to have a calmer kiddo, I realized that I was given Harper because she’s exactly what I asked for… and if you ask TJ she’s exactly what I am… and God entrusted me with her little life because she’d challenge me in just the right ways……

A few other little updates….. 

Sleeping/Eating: I feel as if we go in phases with both of these categories. One minute she’ll eat anything and the next she’s little miss picky. I assume that this is how it will continue to go over the years, so I don’t get myself too concerned with it….

I started to contemplate a toddler bed for a hot minute, and then we decided that we would wait a little longer. She hasn’t tried to crawl out of her crib (except for the random one or two times several months ago) so we’re assuming she’s still happy as a clam in there….

Favorite Things: She’s into all things active right now… jumping on trampolines, kicking balls, running around…. but I wouldn’t expect anything less. She’s also loving pretend play. I catch her feeding her stuffed animals, giving them hugs, and wanting to change their diapers. It’s so adorable, and I love seeing her imagination flourish. We’re also still into Easter eggs over here…. some of her favorite books right now are this bunny book we got her for Easter + this flip book that my Aunt (who is a former teacher) bought her…. she loves all the illustrations. She’s obsessed with these kicks (like, asks for them everyday) and loves drinking out of her “rainbow wawa” (rainbow water bottle). We also bought this rainbow beachball in Hawaii and she plays with it all the time (it took forever to deflate so we could get it home…). Oh, and this sidewalk chalk is her favorite…. such pretty colors and it doesn’t get all over the place like other sidewalk chalks do.

Consequences + Responsibilities: With the testing of limits, comes limit setting from TJ + myself. I’ve written about it a few times, but we do a lot of logical consequences…. if she colors on something other than paper then she looses the crayons and has to help clean it up. We use short time-outs for other behaviors that don’t really follow with a natural consequence (or, not one I’m willing to follow thorough on) such as throwing food at dinner (I want her to eat her food, so taking it away isn’t something I’m willing to do). She doesn’t like time-out so it typically takes 1-2 rounds of it before the behavior stops. Here, I always like to acknowledge that parenting styles are different and what works for us might not work for everyone. This is just the route we take and have found success with.

I also still find that offering her options/choices helps to minimize control battles. If I know something could create a battle I start it off by giving her choices so that she feels empowered to make the one that is right for her (and I’m okay with whatever she chooses since I gave them to her…). I’ve also looked back through the pages of “The Whole Brain Child,” a book I read when I was practicing with clients. It’s a really great illustration of how the child’s brain works (in easy to understand terms) and gives very practical ways to deal with the emotional meltdowns we can so frequently see in toddlers. I think it also comes in an audio version (much easier!).

We’ve also been trying to instill within her responsibilities. Cleaning up after herself…. and asking her to help clear the table at dinner, or helping us take clothes out of the dryer….  She actually really likes it and it cuts down on any attention seeking behavior that might happen when we’re busy getting things done around the house… I’ve actually found that when I don’t ask her to help, she finds ways to get me to….

Unpredictability: Being someone who loves to have a predictable schedule, I’ve come to realize that it’s not always possible with a kiddo and to be much more flexible. While I have a general outline of our days will flow, if something happens we have to roll with it. Case in point. Yesterday I noticed clusters of rashes on Harper’s skin…. and she was really clingy and not eating much. When I got home, TJ and I called the doctor who recommended we take her to Urgent Care. This was at 6pm…. TJ and I had planned to have a nice evening together watching Jersey Shore Family Vacation (yes, I know….)… but, you know, parenthood involves continually being flexible and realizing that everything will eventually get done… just maybe not right when we had initially planned for it. (By the way, everything is ok, she just contacted Hand-Mouth-Foot….).

Reality: Annnd, because I always like to keep it 100 here… while these photos look really serene and peaceful, they were anything but that. I had this grandiose thought in my head that Harper would love her flower crown and that we would get some beautiful family photos on the beach our last evening in Maui. Well, it was the one day she didn’t nap, which should have been my first indication that this was not going to go well. Then when we got out to the beach it started raining… so no one was there to take a photo… and then Harper decided she didn’t want to wear her flowers and almost threw it into an oncoming wave. Buuuut, I am forever grateful for TJ’s photography skills for capturing images that made it look like such a beautiful time….

(Outfit Details || My dress | Harper’s dress)