(Outfits || Joggers | Tank | Cardigan | Shoes | TJ’s Joggers | Tee | Shoes | Harper + Camille’s Leggings | Harper + Camille’s Top | Harper’s Shoes | Camille’s Shoes)

Happy Friday friends! Another week down + a glorious two days ahead of us.

A couple of weeks ago, TJ + I did a fireside Q+A over on instagram… we chose the first ten questions that came in and put together some of our thoughts on parenthood, marriage, and life in general. I thought I’d share the answers here as a spin on my monthly Q+A.

Hope you all have a great weekend! Cheers xx
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1. How old are you both?

TJ will be 38 tomorrow (pushing those late 30’s) + I am 35.

2. Anymore babies for you two?

We love our little ladies, but SHOP IS CLOSED. We are both from families with two children, so it’s always what we said we wanted. It feels complete. 

3. Vasectomy or Tubal Ligation?  I am considering closing shop!

Snip Snip…. I birthed two babies. His turn!

4. Advice for a newly married couple??

Enjoy your time together. For us, we waited several years to have kids… we traveled, set a solid foundation, and go to be spontaneous (not that it can’t happen with children, all of that just looks a little different). And to always say how you feel. Better to know where you stand than to always be guessing…. Sometimes the best conversations are the hardest to have.

5. How long did it take you to adjust to live with two little ones?

Does adjustment ever end?? Kidding. But, I do think we are still a work in progress. We knew EXACTLY what we were getting into; since we’d been through it before. Yet it’s still a shock to the system. We both agree that each month gets “easier” but that the first year with a newborn is the most challenging since they have so many demands. Looking back over these past five months it’s a gradual adjustment…slowly yet surely you start to fall back into rhythms + routines… and adopt new ones that fit the new lifestyle. 

6. What’s your secret to staying connected?

We schedule in time for each other. We’ve been really religious about Friday evening being “our” night. After a long week, we put away electronics, no television, a bottle of wine, and we just talk. It’s the easiest way to reconnect. No babysitter needed. I’ve found that the more intentional we try to be, the more connected + in sync we end up feeling. 

7. What’s The Best Part Of Parenting?

Bedtime…. Kidding (again). It’s really in the small moments (as most of life is). The gummy smile from Camille in the morning…. the random, funny, comments Harper makes… and her budding curiosity for all things. Sometimes we both catch ourselves looking at them in amazement that together we created them; that we’re a family, imperfections + all.

8. What keeps you on the same team after two kids? Sometimes it feels like a struggle.

Yes, it can be SO hard sometimes! For us, while it sounds cheesy, teamwork makes the dream work. Parenting isn’t easy. It’s demanding, and tests you to the core…. But we try to view it as something we’ve CHOSEN to do together… that before them it was us + after them it will be us. That doesn’t mean we don’t get testy with one another. In those cases, I think taking a time-out (yes, literally separating and cooling down), coming back to the issue, and then readdressing the issue, + apologizing if apologies are needed, seems to work best for us. And, on a lighter note, we both know that if we want to survive a savage toddler + tiny newborn then we have to be on the same team. 

9. Where did you guys meet and when?

We met in college. I (Shannon) was in my last semester  of my junior year at The University of San Diego + TJ had just graduated. I wanted to ask him to a sorority dance, but insisted that my friend, who knew him, not tell him “who” was asking him. That way, if he said “no,” it wasn’t because it was me. So lame. He ended up having other plans and declined the invite….

TJ: When I found out it was her, someone spilled the beans, I was mad at myself that I’d said no (she already had a date at that point). I’d always admired her from afar, and affectionately called her the “computer lab” girl (I’d stare at her when we were there at the same time #creepy)….

All that to say, a mutual friend ended up having us show up at the same party one night and the rest is history.

10. How do you keep intimacy alive when you just want to veg out?

Well, let’s all be honest here it’s not always easy. Maybe this is the therapist in me talking, but intimacy starts before the bedroom. Tiny things along the way, like a sweet text message, an unexpected hug…. whatever fills your partner’s bucket. And then, as boring as it sounds, make a “date” for it… set the mood. Schedules get busy, you get tired, but marking it down makes it happen.