It’s been a while since I did a full Motherhood Post over here.. and with Camille hitting her first birthday (a month ago…) I thought now is as good a time as ever…

I was revisiting some of my old therapy books over the past several months, as a refresher for my own personal use, and came across this passage from “The Conscious Parent.” It read:

“More than any other role, parenthood causes us to second guess ourselves. We question our competence, our worth, and even our sanity …if you can recognize the spiritual potential of the parenting journey, you will be equipped to enter its depth without resisting or becoming stuck in a state in which you are utterly overwhelmed and confused as you attempt to grapple with the complexities. For this reason, rather than feeling guilt about the feelings that arise as you move along the path of raising a child, you are asked to embrace the insanities of parenthood, capitalizing on the way having a child opens you up- or rather tears you up, shreds your old identity, and replaces it with an expansion of yourself.”

For me, the only way to get through the challenging days is by embracing them. They are what they are. Motherhood isn’t perfect. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to get it right all the time. If I can self reflect, at the end of the day, see where I can make changes, accept the feelings I have about the day (both good and bad) and move forward from there, I consider it a win. We’re all allowed to feel + we’re all allowed hard days. But behind the hard days, there are good days and mediocre days… days we wish we could bottle up and cherish forever. And then there are days where TJ and I look at each other and just ask “What the heck is going on….” Motherhood is one heck of a ride.

Yet, I also think the beautiful thing about motherhood is that there is no one “right” way to do it. I have friends who parent completely different than I do, yet their children are equally as happy as mine…. thriving just as much as mine… and they’re just as good of a mom as I am. So while I share what works for us in this post, know that every mom is the expert on her own family and knows what will work best for their structure, system, and rhythms.

SLEEPING

I always feel as if we get a couple weeks a month where both the girls are in sync with their sleeping, and then things go awry and one is a little off.

Several weeks ago Camille started waking up about an hour before her regular wake-up time (6:30ish) and we couldn’t figure out why. We consulted with the same sleep coach we used with Harper (Sleep Shop OC, she’s super knowledgable on little people sleep). We went through Camille’s schedule (nothing wrong there), chatted about room temperature (again, everything seemed ok), and then she asked about the darkness in Camille’s room. The more I thought about it, her early wakings seemed to start around the same time the sun started rising earlier, making her room much brighter. We covered the windows with blackout curtains (it doesn’t look pretty…. literally nailed them around the window frame…) and ever since (for the past two weeks) she’s been back to waking up at her regular time…

Her current sleep schedule is as follows:

7:30am: Wake-up
9-10/10:30am: Morning Nap (we aim for at least an hour)
2-4pm: Afternoon Nap (we aim for 1.5-2 hours at this nap)
7:30pm: Bedtime (we start her evening routine at 6:45pm

At night we place her in this sleep sack, which allows her to stay at an optimal temperature throughout the night.

Harper was going through some kind of wild growth spurt where she was sleeping until 8:30am (of course, that was when Camille was waking up earlier than usual)… but she’d wake up in the middle of the night very restless.

Harper’s nap was dropped back in the fall, so during Camille’s afternoon nap she is allowed to watch a movie for her “down” time.

Knock on wood… but we seem to have fallen back into a sleeping rhythm where everyone is sleeping.

EATING

We officially transitioned Camille off of formula to whole milk, as well as from the bottle to a sippy cup. It took her several days to get used to the straw on this sippy cup, but now that she has the hang of it she prefers it to anything else. Right before we were going to transition her, we started having Harper drink from a straw in front of her (since she’s always trying to do what she does) and then we would give her the chance to suck her milk out of a straw at every meal. Once she got the hang of that, we moved to the sippy cup I mentioned above.

Camille + Harper now eat the same things, which makes life much easier… same snacks, same lunches, etc… They both love these cereal bars + Camille has one of these Once Upon A Farm pouches after her morning naps.

Some favorites for Camille include: Peanut butter sandwich (she’s obsessed), eggs, Birch Benders pancakes, strawberries, bananas, pasta, peas, and meat (girl loves chicken….).

Some favorites for Harper include: Siggi’s yogurt, hard boiled eggs, string cheese, Annie’s Snack Mix, Purely Elizabeth Chocolate Granola, bell peppers, + apple slices + peanut butter.

For eating, we are still using this high chair for Camille (we used it with Harper as well, highly recommend… perfect size + so easy to clean…) and put this clear mat underneath it because she loves dropping food on the ground.

TODDLER LIMIT TESTING

I know I’ve mentioned this several times over the past year, but we’re still in the limit testing mode with little miss. It seems as if it’s hit an all time high over the last month or so, but I do attribute a lot of that to the safer at home orders we were under….

I had to remind myself that her life was flipped upside down as well. No more preschool, church Sunday school, seeing my parents several times a week, going on regular outings… and since it’s hard for me + TJ, it’s equally (if not more so) challenging for her.

That being said, I really, really, try to remain as patient as possible. I try to continue to use what I used to teach parents: utilize “when, then” + “if, then” statements (“when Harper cleans up, then she can go outside…”), say what I mean and mean what I say (ex: if I give a consequence, I need to follow through with it), give her options so she feels empowered (but they’re always choices we’re okay with… example “You can wash your hair tonight or tomorrow night.”), to catch her making good choices and give her a lot of praise for those to eliminate negative, attention seeking, behaviors, positive 1:1 time, and recognizing her behavioral cues (hungry, tired, etc) and modifying my demands based on that. It’s not always perfect or seamless, but it does provide me with a good framework of how to manage her behaviors.

I do get asked questions about time-outs. We reserve those just for certain behaviors, such as any aggression (i.e. throwing items, etc…). So, we don’t use them often. I typically find that using a “natural” consequence works best (i.e. kicking ball in house, she loses the ball) or removing a preferred item (“if you don’t stop then you will lose/not get ‘item.'”) works best.

FAVORITE ITEMS

Like everyone else, we’ve been spending a lot of time at home. Given that, we’ve really honed in on some favorite products over the past several months.

Harper loves this scooter (I do too… it’s so fun). We go on a daily walk and she scooters alongside the stroller.
She also loves driving this car that my parents got her for Christmas…..
When she wants something not as active, these markers + paints are a favorite. I love them as well because they only show up on the special paper…
These jellies + these sandals are her favorites….
And these soft little drawstring shorts are an easy option that she loves to wear… soft + comfortable….

Camille loves this giant ring stacker…..
These pacifiers …
This cute push car (matches Harper’s)…
This little penguin bath toy…
And these adorable puppet books…

Both girls love this blow up pool, water station, and their chaise lounge chairs.
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