It’s crazy to think that we’ve been a family of four for two months now… and I realize that I’ve really dropped the ball on any sort of motherhood update over the past several months. So in honor of today’s little Fourth of July theme going on, I decided to combine the two together….

General Thoughts + Feelings

Overall, I’d have to say that the transition from 1-2 kiddos is significantly easier than the transition from 0-1. We knew what to expect this time around… we remembered the sleep exhaustion… knew how to actually take care of a baby this time… and we were much more prepared, and mentally equipped, this time around. Yet, finding the balance in everything is much more challenging this time around. How to balance out the needs of Harper with those of the demanding newborn phase has been something I have struggled with. Some days I feel like I’m rocking it (then again, those are usually the days I have help….) and other days I feel like I completely failed. Some days seem to be relatively easy + others feel like I’m merely treading water just to make it until bedtime. Yet, I know this is all a phase, that life will shake out, settle down, and the rhythm + routine we have started to fall into will become more commonplace.

I was reading about baby sleep the other day and it mentioned that it’s often “One step forward, two steps back…” and motherhood has been like that these past couple of months. I think it has to do with the newness of everything, and how figuring it out takes trial + error. So it’s a constant victory (one step forward), setback (step back), lesson learned, step forward….

(Outfit Details || Top | Shorts | Hat | Slides (40% off) | Harper’s Tee | Harper’s Shorts | Harper’s Shoes | Camille’s Onesie)

Nursing:

I know I’m not alone when I say this, despite what social media so often presents, but nursing is not something I actually enjoy. It wasn’t with Harper + nothing has changed this time around. It is, hands down, my biggest challenge as a mother. I remember talking with my OB/GYN at my 6 week follow up appointment and sharing those sentiments with her (and the nurse practitioner who was also present). Both had just had babies within the year, and both told me they had the same feelings. It felt so validating. So, while I know this is not the “trending + popular” thing to say about nursing, I’m putting it out there for those who feel the same way, but maybe feel “bad” that they have those feelings. It’s entirely ok.

I bottle feed Harper Camille (I can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that this post….) expressed breastmilk at her dream feed and I can’t tell you how much I actually enjoy that experience. I get to look directly into her eyes (well, they’re actually closed…) and I feel so much more connected to her in that feed than I do during any of the other five nursing sessions we have throughout the day.

I also find this aspect to be my biggest hurdle in balancing life with two. As much as I try to do activities with Harper while I am nursing (we sing songs together, I try to read her books, or do a puzzle with her) she typically wants me to be dancing around with her and it kills me to constantly be telling her to wait. She does ask me frequently if she can feed Camille, and given that, I am going to try to start to help her feed Camille an expressed bottle. I think allowing others to bond with baby through feeding  is so powerful (only my two cents though).

That being said, I’m open to where this nursing journey takes me this time around (Harper refused a bottle for 10 months). Maybe I’ll make it that long, maybe I won’t.

I do swear by these bottles though… the only ones Harper would take (eventually) + Camille warmed up to them immediately.

Threenager Status:

Yes, we have a full blown threenager on our hands now! The things that come out of her mouth sometimes crack me up… and the amount of independence she wants is amazing (and challenging at times). Harper is so gentle + loving with Camille… always wanting to hold her, kiss her, and sing to her… and she’s a huge help as well…. always wanting to get me a diaper or help put a pacifier in Camille’s mouth. I did recently purchase this swan pool + rainbow inflatable toy so that Harper would have some fun water play in our backyard for days when it’s just to difficult to get out of the house.

We officially have Harper enrolled in pre-school for next year (which she’s so excited for) and she’ll be going to a three week summer camp in July (which she’s equally as excited for). It seems as if when Camille was born, Harper all of a sudden seemed like such a big girl… everything from her hands + facial features to her mannerisms. Sometimes I look at her and can’t believe how much she has grown up.

With all her sweetness comes the typical toddler behavior… tantrums/meltdowns, stalling at bedtime, you know the drill. A book I reference quite frequently when dealing with meltdowns is The Whole Brain Child. I used this throughout my therapy practice, and it’s so applicable to toddler life + teaching them how to manage their emotions.

SCHEDULE

I thrive on a schedule. IMO, it makes life run much more smoothly…. so I’ve tried to get us all on a similar one from the beginning. Here is what our day typically looks like….

5:45am: I wake up and get a workout in…. when I’m done, TJ works out
7-7:30am (depending on the day): Girls wake up (TJ or I make Harper breakfast + I nurse Camille)
8-10:30am: Harper plays or watches a little bit of TV, Camille goes down for a nap around 8:45am + wakes up at 10:30am (we aren’t perfect at naps + there is a lot of waking, but we’re working on it in the bassinet). I get ready for the day + do a little bit of work
10:30-11am: I nurse Camille
11-1ish: We head out for an outing (unless I get my act together… then we leave the house before Camille’s first nap)
1pm: Lunch for Harper, I nurse Camille
1:30pm-3:30ish: Harper goes down for a nap
2-4pm: Camille goes down for a nap (again working on getting through an entire nap)
While both girls nap, I work
4pm: I nurse Camille, Harper has a snack
4-6pm: Harper plays outside, or we take photos for blog posts (usually only 2-3 days a week)
5pm-5:45/6ish: Camille goes down for a catnap to get her to bedtime
6pm: Dinner
6:40pm: Both girls in the bath (TJ does the bath)
7pm: I nurse Camille
7:30pm: Both Harper + Camille go down for the evening. TJ reads Harper a book while I nurse Camille. Once I am done nursing Camille, I go in and sing Harper some songs. It’s a joint parental effort!
7:30pm-10:30pm: I work + then we have some downtime
10:30pm-11pm: Camille’s dream feed
For a couple of weeks we were getting stretches where Camille would sleep until 6am and then with a pacifier fall asleep again until 7ish… yet the past week we’ve had some regression. Hoping it’s just a growth spurt, so we will see.

I put together our initial family schedule, but then worked with Kate from The Cradle Coach to further streamline it. She is also working with us on establishing good nap patterns (techniques such as “sleep to wake,” etc). I highly recommend them if you’re in the market.

RELATIONSHIPS

Using this category as a catch all for marriage, friendships, and self…

When I was finally given the go-ahead to start working out again, I felt as if my spirits were lifted… and it’s honestly been something I look forward to every morning. It’s often the only time in my day when I’m truly alone and, to be honest, it feels amazing. It’s something that I truly value, helps me set my intentions for the day, and is an investment I make in myself daily.

One of the reasons I was so particular about having a good schedule for our family, where both girls are down at the same time, was so that TJ + I would have quality time to spend together at the end of the day (particularly on the weekends when work demands are minimized). I truly believe that a healthy marriage makes for a happy home, so those few hours that we get together are imperative for our relationship….

Friendships are crazy. I think I’ve been trying to get together with my girlfriends for months… we talk, we text, but coordinating schedules enough to get together has proven to be a challenge. I’m hoping to be better about this in the coming months. On a positive note, my sister is turning 30 this July, so she and I are heading to Las Vegas for a little girls’ weekend to celebrate. TJ will be holding down the fort, and our freezer is quickly filling up with frozen breastmilk. And while I’ll miss my little family, it will be a great little getaway to recharge.

POSTPARTUM BODY:

I’ve been asked, quite frequently, whether or not I’ve lost all of my pregnancy weight. My answer is always the same. I don’t know, I don’t weigh myself (we don’t even own a scale in our house)…. and I’m sure I haven’t, I mean, I’m only 9 weeks postpartum. Do I look in the mirror sometimes and wish that certain lumps + bumps weren’t there? Of course. Do I wish my lower stomach area was firmer. Duh. Yet I know, from the first time around, that it takes time. I know that my body hangs onto extra fat while I nurse. I know that focusing on it, and obsessing over it, takes away any sort of joy I can be having…. so I choose to simply focus on eating healthy + clean… working out to feel strong + clear headed… and buying clothes that fit my body now… not trying to squeeze into pre-pregnancy clothing + getting upset when I can’t (I did try on my favorite pair of white cut offs and that was a tad of a shock… they were like biker shorts at this point… so I just pushed them to the back of my dresser drawer and decided they probably were a non option this summer season…. and that’s okay).

I rely on high waisted bottoms (they always seem to streamline everything), oversized tees (thank goodness this style is still popular), flowy dresses, bathing suits that I feel comfortable + confident in, and a good faux tan…. because hey, if you can’t tone it, tan it!