02.09.2018

Motherhood Update

“A good mom has bad days + great days + normal days + perfect days + overwhelming days + trying days +supermom days + just being a mom days + a whole lot of love + real + crazy motherhood days…..”

I’ve been trying to figure out the best way to continue with my motherhood component… trying to figure out if monthly updates are the best way to go…. or if I should switch it up to quarterly…. or post as interest/questions arise. And while I don’t have a definitive answer for how to continue, I do know that the format will change slightly. In the past I’ve focused a lot on Harper…. Harper’s likes, sleeping, eating, etc… and while I think that’s helpful, it’s also not something that changes as frequently as it used to (I don’t want to get repetitive….). So, today, I might focus a little more on the “motherhood” side of things… and briefly touch on the components that I have always touched upon…..

(My Tunic, Harper’s Sweatshirt)

General Thoughts: Hands down, the quote above encompasses all of my thoughts and feelings from the past month. We had great days…. days when I felt I was doing everything right… and challenging days… times when I felt like I wasn’t doing anything right…. and nights when TJ and I looked at each other and asked “What are we doing wrong???” Yet, I think that’s the journey of parenthood…. it’s filled with ups and downs… times when you feel like you’re on a roll… and times when you feel like you’re hitting a roadblock at every turn…. and accepting that allows us to give ourselves, as moms… as parents… more grace.

I know I’m not a perfect parent… and I know that I will never be a perfect parent…. it’s just not possible. There are times I snap, when I’m not as present as I should be… and times where I give in out of fatigue. Yet the beauty of it is, that in my “failure” moments, I’m also able to teach Harper a lesson. That it’s ok to make mistakes… to take ownership of them and apologize… and that life doesn’t have to be perfect…..

One thing I do believe that makes the journey a little easier is self-care. As moms we must take care of ourselves. I touched on that briefly in my last Weekend Recap, but when we don’t, we can’t possibly take care of others. And sometimes self care isn’t about getting our nails done, or treating ourselves to a coffee. Sometimes it’s about saying “no” to something  we know we can’t possibly juggle (and no feeling guilty about it)…. or taking an extra 10 minutes to yourself in the morning so you can read your morning devotional…. or do some meditation…. self care is really knowing what we need to fill our own buckets. For me, it’s having time to myself. I need it…. it’s why I wake up so early to get my workouts in and organize myself for the day ahead. It’s also connecting with friends and loved ones outside of our parenting roles. I grabbed coffee with a girlfriend yesterday (without kiddos) and it felt so good to be together outside of our roles as moms. We sat, for two hours, uninterrupted… and when I came home to Harper I was in a much more present space.

And while I sit here and type all of this, tomorrow could be one of “those days….” and I’ll simply pause and ask God to grant me the patience I need to make it through the day….. and remember that it’s Friday… wine time!

(My Jacket (on sale), Henley, Jeans, Slides (on sale), Harper’s Tee, Harper’s Jacket, Harper’s Sandals)

Sleeping: Last month I chatted about having (or going through) the 2 year sleep regression…. yet, we appear to have fallen back into rhythm. Thank. Goodness. On my radar in this area is transitioning to a big girl bed. I fall somewhere between slightly terrified + completely confident she’ll be able to handle it with regards to the transition. I’m going to hold off here as long as possible…..

Eating: I’ve been asked a few questions about some of Harper’s favorite meals so I thought I would list them below (and while I’m listing these, please note that she currently likes these foods… she could wake up tomorrow and hate them all…..):

Waffles + Blueberries for breakfast
Oatmeal with bananas
Eggs, bacon, and blueberries
Quesadilla (using these tortillas), bell pepper, and avocado (although she all of a sudden doesn’t like that anymore…)
Brown rice, Trader Joe’s lentils, mixed veggies with some melted cheese
Chicken Fingers (available at Sprouts’), grapes, and cottage cheese
Hilary’s Eat Well Bites, siggi’s yogurt, and raspberries
Macaroni and Cheese
Snacks: Purely Elizabeth granola, Annie’s crackers, apple slices, bell pepper slices, dried cranberries, banana chips, cheerios…….

(Cardigan, Tee, Jeans, Harper’s Tee, Harper’s Jeans, Harper’s Shoes, Harper’s Vest)

Limit Setting + Consequences: I added this segment last month, and couldn’t decide if I should continue with it or not, since there are so many different ways to limit set and provide consequences. Yet, I figured I’d continue with it….

I’ve always loved Erik Erickson’s Stages of Psychosocial Development and keep it in my mind in most of my interactions with Harper… including my limit setting and consequences…. That being said, I try to follow up “bad choices” with logical consequences….. she dumps the dog’s food all over the floor, I have her clean it up (instead of moving on to play with blocks, which she would much rather prefer). When she is engaging in a behavior that I don’t like, I tell her what I would like to see (i.e. “We don’t jump on the couch, we sit on our bottoms. If you continue to jump, I’m going to take you off the couch.”). That way, she’s in charge of the choice she makes… and in turn, the consequence she will receive (good or bad).

I also highly recommend the book The Whole Brain Child, which does an excellent job of explaining the meltdowns of a child in a practical way…. it’s a book I used with families all the time… and it helps me to understand Harper a little better (although, that doesn’t mean it makes anything easier…….). The tools within the book really help teach us, as parents, how to connect the emotional experiences of our kiddos, with what is logically going on (I am simplifying it…. but that’s the general concept) which helps to create emotionally healthy children.

(Joggers, Tunic, Jacket, Sneakers, Harper’s Tee, Harper’s Jacket)

Products: Little miss’ hair is so curly, so I’ve been using this conditioner and I’m loving it. Leaves her hair tangle free and so soft. I’m also thinking about getting her this little bike to take to the park and on our walks…. Annnd, a few spring clothing items I’m loving for her right now include these adorable stripe culotte pants, gingham dress, blush moto jacket, drawstring chambray shorts, and this blush hoodie.

Comments

  1. Love love love the general thoughts section. I’m a new mom and constantly try to make sure I make time for myself. So nice to know I’m not alone and it’s okay to be imperfect!

    • Shannon Pulsifer says:

      Not alone ever! Always remember that what you’re feeling someone else is likely feeling too. I think, as a new mom, that would have been the best advice someone could have given me. we’re not alone, and it’s not always easy! Hope you have a wonderful week!

  2. I hope you continue with the monthly motherhood updates; I really enjoy them!

    • Shannon Pulsifer says:

      Thank you Leah! TY so much for the feedback. I will continue them, I would just love some input as to what you would like to see more of!

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