09.15.2017

Motherhood Update || 20 Months

What a month. I feel as if I just wrote my 19 month motherhood update, which is just a constant reminder to me as to how quickly my little lady is growing up. From her developing stubbornness to her sweet little hugs + kisses, my little miss is certainly growing into a little lady and continually helping me grow as a momma…..

(Dress | Similar Cardigan | Harper’s Dress | Harper’s Cardigan)

Favorite Part: Her growing independence. I absolutely love watching her develop confidence and try new things on her own. She politely lets me know to “back off” by swatting my hand away when I follow too closely behind her on the gymnasium at the park… or when she insists on swinging without the bucket seat… or refusing the highchair and opting for an adult seat… they’re all just small daily reminders that my little baby is no longer that. More and more I come to see her as a little girl, with a strong little personality ready to take on life. At the same time though, I’d be lying if I didn’t say that I love it when she runs to me for comfort when she is scared or timid in a social situation…. a small reminder that I’m still her safe base from which she can explore the world.

Most Challenging: This hands down has to be the shifting emotions of a toddler… and the inability to fully communicate their needs… which, I believe, go hand in hand. One minute we’re having a jolly good time, and the next, because I can’t decipher what she is saying, it’s as if the whole world has come to an end. A complete 180. I know that this is a time that will pass, as she continues to develop language and her ability to communicate her needs… but man, it’s not an easy phase by any means. Toddler tantrums are also a challenge. Yet, I try to remain as calm as possible, because when I get upset it doesn’t help the situation at all.

I know I’ve talked about this so many times in my past motherhood updates, but mom guilt is so real for me…. often I feel it the most as I get busier and feel as if I am not giving her my full attention during the days. While I know it’s not possible to always give 100% all the time, it’s something I have to constantly remind myself of when I feel the guilt creeping in……

(Joggers | Tank | Harper’s Tank)

Sleeping: For the past week or so, TJ and I have been wondering where our good little sleeper went. Naps are varied in length (sometimes only an hour) and we’ve been having some consistent wake-ups around the 2am time zone (this used to be my college bedtime….). Needless to say, it’s resulted in a few haggard days this week, but again, trying to remind myself that it must be a phase. I put it out there on instagram and received a lot of feedback from others with kiddos around Harper’s age that they’re going through the exact same thing…. an early morning wake-up, crying, and asking for “momma, daddy.” From what I’ve read, I imagine it has something to do with her canine teeth coming in and her rapidly developing mind.

It’s funny, on those nights where a part of me just wishes she would go back to bed, there is also a part of me that knows how quickly this time will pass. When she won’t want to be in my arms, and have me sing her a goodnight song (much quicker than I realize….). I remarked to TJ the other day that we should be sleeping the best at this point, when we know she is safe under our roof…. since there will come a day when she isn’t and that will likely keep us awake…. Do you ever really sleep as a parent??

Eating: Well, we no longer use a high chair and have graduated to a booster seat (per Harper’s decision). I actually really like this transition. It feels as if she is really part of the family and engaging at dinner time, not merely a little being sitting in her high chair. We say our prayers, listen to some music, and eat together. Surprisingly, she eats much better sitting in the booster seat than she did in the high chair. I’d also say that 90% of the time she does better in the booster seat at a restaurant (before she was dying to get out of her high chair).

Harper’s Favorites: I feel as if her preferences are constantly shifting. She currently loves this farm animal puzzle + shapes puzzle (always wants to do them first thing in the morning) and anything to do with balls. Her imagination is flourishing and she thoroughly enjoys playing with her toy food and shopping cart, sidewalk chalk (a budding Picasso maybe??….), and sitting in her little chair reading out-loud (not discernible, but hey, it’s a start). When we go to the park, she loves going up and down the slide by herself (do. not. help.), and swinging without the bucket seats. She  loves giving kisses by rubbing her nose against yours….. Oh, and she loves getting dirty (didn’t get that one from me….) in the sand, with her food, you name it, if it can make her filthy she’ll do it!

Friendships: My friend sent me a text message the other day saying that she felt like she has been the worst friend lately. I laughed out loud. Hardly. I had been feeling the same way. I replied to her that I could barely pull it together to return a text message. It’s nice to have all my friends in the same place of life, but sometimes it saddens me (if I’m being honest) that we don’t get to talk and see each other as often. Healthy female friendships are so imperative, and I can often sense when I haven’t connected enough with my girls. I stumbled across this article, as well as this one, the other day and thought they were both amazing narratives of this place in life (while I don’t relate to them 100% I think the overarching theme they present is very relatable).

Comments

  1. SAME with the middle of the night wake-ups… you really put it in perspective that one day she’ll be out of the house and I’ll definitely be up all night worrying – good to know we’ll never sleep again right?! haha.

    • Shannon Pulsifer says:

      haha! Seriously! I guess we just have to really soak in those times when we’re getting a full night of sleep!!