11.11.2016

My Fears As A New Momma

fears as a new momma, itsy bitsy indulgences

The day before Harper was born, I remember being filled with so many different emotions. We were scheduled to be induced the next evening, so I spent the day running around, trying to distract myself. Yet, as the day progressed, I found myself becoming increasingly anxious…. more about the unknown than anything else. I’d never had to take care of anyone other than myself (and our little fur baby), so the thought of having to keep a baby alive was beginning to scare me… As I look back, I wish that I had someone who could have validated those fears, someone who was going through it in real time. Someone who would have told me it was normal. So, today, I thought I would share with you a few fears that I had as a first time momma… in case you’re looking for some validation….

1. Will I Be Good Enough: This was the fear that really took center stage that day before she was born. I doubted my abilities. I was afraid of the level of responsibility it would take to effectively raise a child… I questioned if I would be good enough on little sleep…. how would I know what each little cry meant? What if I wasn’t able to produce enough milk to nurse (we all know how that one turned out….)? What if “mothering” didn’t come naturally to me, like so many people said it does? The root of my fears essentially boiled down to this one issue, “I don’t know what I am doing.” And that was the thing…. how can anyone know what they’re doing when they’ve never done anything close to it before? I just had to trust that with the help of TJ and my family, we’d figure the whole process out….

2. Is She Alive?: I remember that first night in the hospital… I politely questioned the nurse as to whether or not is was really appropriate for her to be sleeping on her back. I feared she would throw up and choke…. the nurse, ever so kindly (she was actually our favorite from the stay) informed me that she would be perfectly okay and that I didn’t need to worry. What new mom doesn’t “worry?” Good luck. So, I pretty much had my first sleepless night as a new mom…. not believing the nurse and checking on her every 5 minutes. I remember the first 6 hour stretch of sleep I received I woke up in a panic…. was she still alive? Why didn’t she wake up…. I immediately reached over the side of the bed (she was sleeping in a bassinet next to us at the time) and felt her little chest… okay, yes, she was still alive. Anyone else?

3. I Don’t Want To Hurt Her: No mom likes to hear the cries of their little baby (unless of course you are in the middle of the previous fear… then they’re a welcome sound) and I wasn’t an exception. I did everything in my power to ensure she was always comfortable. A thermometer for the bath, a nice warm towel after. I had a wipe warmer so that she would be completely comfortable when I changed her diaper. Yet, one of my biggest challenges came when it was time to clip her nails. Those little baby nails grow so quickly… and they’re incredibly sharp, so it was something that had to be done with some frequency… and it wasn’t always easy. My fear was that she would make a sudden movement at the sound of the clipping ,and I would accidentally cut her skin. Then I stumbled upon NailFrida the SnipperClipper. These were pretty much a sure way for me to clip her nails with confidence. These clippers have a safety spy hole, which allows you to see how much of the nail is under the blade. The blade is also curved in a way that mimics that shape of baby scissors. Oh, and it’s also silent…. no clipping sound to scare little miss into making a sudden movement. It also comes with a S-shaped nail file, which allows me to easily file any sharp corner. I’ve never nicked her skin using these, and the fear of clipping her nails is gone. It’s a smooth and easy process for us now thanks to the clippers. FridaBaby actually has tons of amazing baby products to help with this fear…. and they’re all incredibly easy to use.

4. What If I’m Doing It All Wrong: I went out to lunch with my grandma today and chatted with her about all the different information out there for babies. Don’t do this, do this, this can cause severe xyz…. This is how it used to be done, this is how we do it now. The number of books, opinions, and information out there is limitless…. and it can sometimes cause me to question, “Is this the right way? Am I doing it the way it’s supposed to be done?” My grandma’s response was simple, “All these things need a disclaimer with them. What works for one baby might not work for the other… and every baby has their own needs.” The wisdom of age… and such a validation that, as long as I have Harper’s best interests at heart, that she’s healthy + happy, then I’m probably doing it right for her.

Not sure if any of these fears resonate with you…. but I hope that if they do, you find solace in the fact that you’re not alone! And, if you related with fear #3, then this next part is for you! I teamed up with FridaBaby to giveaway the NailFrida the SnipperClipper to 5 readers. To enter, simply leave a comment below, along with your e-mail address (for the sole purpose on contacting you if you win), saying what your biggest fear was as a new mom. 5 winners will be chosen at random on Monday, October 14th, 2016. Good luck!

fears as a new momma, itsy bitsy indulgences

fears as a new momma, itsy bitsy indulgences

fears as a new momma, itsy bitsy indulgences

fears as a new momma, itsy bitsy indulgences

fears as a new momma, itsy bitsy indulgences

fears as a new mom, itsy bitsy indulgences

In partnership with FridaBaby. All opinions expressed are my own. 

Comments

  1. Amanda W. says:

    One of my biggest fears is (still) clipping my sons nails – and he’s now 6 months old! I always have his daddy do it:) Would love to try the Nail Frida – love their Nose Frida.

  2. Suzanne says:

    My biggest fear has got to be your #2 fear. Many prayers have been said before falling asleep.

  3. Molly D. says:

    My biggest fear as a children’s therapist was (and still is!) that if I didn’t respond to my son’s needs perfectly he would have some sort of behavioral or emotional disorder as he got older. I’m learning to trust myself and my gut 🙂
    My email is mollyanbeebe@yahoo.com

    • Shannon Pulsifer says:

      I completely relate to that too!! It seems like I’m at my best when I trust my gut!

  4. The fears almost engulfed me in the beginning and then I realized that all I had to do was listen to my gut and if every decision was made from love all would be well. 🙂

    • Shannon Pulsifer says:

      Such good advice! You can never go wrong when you trust your gut!

  5. Jessica says:

    My biggest fear was not being able to figure out what was really wrong when they cry! Which is why I still have a one year old that wakes up every 2 hours … ?. Haven’t been able to do the sleep training. As for the nail cutting, I cut her when she was a few weeks old ? And have hated cutting her nails since. She hates it too, so I deal with the sharp blades until I can’t anymore ?

  6. Ria R says:

    Talking about cutting nails… I accidentally nicked my babe’s when she was 9weeks. She was completely fine but I bawled my eyes out and berated myself for it and I still haven’t completely forgive myself yet. Now I can only bring myself to cut them when she is asleep… which was fine when she was littler but now at almost 10 months where her naps are down to maybe 1-2hrs in her crib it’s a pretty daunting task for me. I too have a lot of fears as a first time mom but cutting nails is one of the top!

  7. My biggest fear as a new mom is your #2. This is getting better with time!

    Email: lmstarr@gmail.com

  8. Hands down, #2 was (and is) my worst fear. Side note: Harper is sitting so nicely to get her nails clipped! Owen flails like a wild man so I can only clip when hes asleep 🙂