06.20.2013

Be Happy #2

comparrison

I’ve always loved quotes. In high school, I had this dictionary of quotes and when I would write an essay or note to a friend I always HAD to use a deep and meaningful quote (or so I thought they were deep and meaningful… you know how we were at that age). The other day when I walked into my favorite coffee shop, The Lost Bean, this quote was up on their chalkboard and I couldn’t help but feel as though it was speaking to me… you know that feeling when it’s as if all arrows and blazingly bright lights are pointing to you?? Yup, that was pretty much my exact feeling.

It’s not that I am in constant comparison with others, it’s just that, if I’m being brutally honest, sometimes I just think “Hmm… why can’t I be/have/say/do ____?” (fill in the blank). That simple thought, seemingly minute when unaware of it, can take an overall good mood right down the drain. When I actually catch myself having these thoughts, I can feel my mood drastically change, and not in a good way.

So, what do we do about it? Well, I’ve found that the best thing to do is STOP! Really! Okay, that’s much easier said than done, believe me, I know! But, what I have found that works, (and have recommended to many clients) when I have these thoughts is to think of what I am  good at (or have, do, say, etc…). It looks something like this:

My Negative Thought: Oh wow, I really wish I could be going on that trip to Bali

Challenging thought: Wait, you just came back from a trip to Hawaii where you were able to relax, sip mimosas & mai tais, and spend time with those you love.

Replacement Thought: Wow, she’s really lucky she gets to go to Bali, I am so happy for her. It reminds me of the wonderful time I just had on my trip!

This isn’t always easy and definitely not always natural. With time though, it really works. I’ve found that the more I implement this into my life, the happier I truly am. There is a reality to the quote above, when we are too busy comparing ourselves to others, there isn’t much room for happiness… it’s more like feelings of “blah.” So, to be happy I must commit myself to challenging comparison and looking at all that I have that is good! I hope you’ll do it too!

Comments

  1. Well said

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