I was initially going to save this post until next week… when I was officially 36 weeks along. Yet, today was my last day at work before I headed out on maternity leave, and I felt compelled to share an update, as opposed to the gift guide I initially planned (that can wait, right??). When I woke up in the morning, I assumed it would be no big deal. I would head into work, tie up a few loose ends, sign some paperwork, and then drive off with a smile. Yet, that’s not really how it all went. I got into my car, called TJ, and tears started to roll down my cheek. His response, “I am assuming this isn’t because you are sad that you have time off from work?” He was right. I’m looking forward to the time off. I’ve been doing the same drive, same job, for the past 7 years. Driving away made me realize that I don’t have to go in tomorrow… that routine is not a part of my life now. And I think that’s what made me emotional… that the routine as I know it is going to change…. and that’s all okay. Lots has changed since the last update and it’s all below.
General Feelings & Thoughts: I feel as though I am in a really good place right now. A couple of weeks ago I was very stressed that I would not get everything done before she arrived. Yet, once I created a to-do list, I found that I was able to easily organize myself and begin crossing items off the list. I do find that I am emotional at small things, that often bring about a few tears, but I’ve been reassured that this is very normal. Hey, a cry here and there is therapeutic! I also shared some thoughts and feelings on Destination Maternity’s blog yesterday.
Fears: I’ve talked a lot about the changes that will occur causing most of my fears, but through lots of reflection and conversations with TJ, most of them have been assuaged. My real fear? Birth. We completed our birthing classes a couple of weeks ago. When I saw my doctor last, and she asked me how I felt about giving birth my response to her was, “I don’t think I’m going to.” (I have a dry sense of humor… so this was meant to be humorous… yet slightly serious…). Have you seen those birthing videos? I know they are supposed to be educational, but I’m sure I looked like a deer in headlights when I was watching it. When I chat with my friends about this their response to me is simply one word, “epidural.” Gotcha.
Eats: I feel like I am back in my first trimester with regards to food aversions and cravings. Nothing too crazy, but my love of vegetables has tempered… and I find myself a carb craver. Back to craving hearty sandwiches… and soups sound absolutely amazing. Crisp apples and pears… along with cashew butter are topping my cravings list these days. Oh, and Trader Joe’s refried beans are pretty amazing!
Exercise: I was driving today and saw this man running down the street. Swift, poised, hardly out of breath. Yeah, that’s not me right now. I still work-out, as I feel energized when I do, but it’s definitely not at a “swift and poised” pace. On Thanksgiving morning, TJ and I did our own version of a “Turkey Trot.” We ran for five minutes, walked for 5 minutes, for about 40 minutes. It felt good. It felt invigorating. I continue to lift light weights, use the Tracey Anderson Pregnancy Project, and ride the spin bike to promote energy and circulation throughout my body. I find I am most mindful when I am working out… paying close attention to how I feel and how I am breathing.
Body: Hmmm…. at 35 weeks, the pants don’t button anymore (well, that started a while ago), I feel like I am carrying a watermelon in front of me, and feel like everything has shifted… in ways I didn’t realize they could shift. I feel relatively lucky that most ailments of pregnancy seemed to have skipped over me in the beginning… yet my upper back starts to become sore if I sit for too long, and sleeping has started bothering my hips and knees. My solution is this pillow, which seems to provide some relief!
Things I’ve Become More Aware Of: Through the basic parenting class TJ and I took, and the books I have been reading (specifically this one), I have started to become more aware of the type of parenting style I want to utilize. TJ and I have come to the firm belief that a happy marriage makes for a happy baby. We have committed to having open and honest conversations with one another when she arrives, as well as committing to date nights on a regular basis (thanks in advance to my parents and Allison).
We’re also very aware of the things we say, how we say them, and what we do. Whenever something is said that we’re both aware shouldn’t have been said (you know, an occasional swear word here or there) we like to ask each other, “Daddy/Mommy, what does that mean?” If we don’t want to have to explain it, we simply eliminate it from our vocabulary. Little sponge ears and eyes will soon be here!
What I’m Looking Forward To: I’m not sure if all women come to this point, but for me I just want her to come! Not because I am physically uncomfortable, but because I feel that I have spent so much time reflecting, talking about, and coming to terms with any fears I may have, that at this point I am ready! I feel supported by a wonderful husband, amazing family (with a mom and sister who might be more excited than me… just kidding), and wonderful girlfriends. I’m excited for so many different things. What will look like? How we will navigate those first few nights (wait, maybe that belongs under fears??), watching TJ be a father (he says that he wants to be the one to change her diapers, since I get to feed her), and having time to bond with her. I’m also looking forward to becoming a family of three. To read to her, take her on the same merry-go-round my Nana took me on, to see her smile, and show her the world.
For her: Allison and I stopped by the mall a few days ago and that wasn’t a good idea! There were too many cute things to pass up! Like these little sherpa booties, this dress, and this poncho. We were also given a sign language book, which I can’t wait to use, since I have seen the benefits this has on language development in children. Another product that I can’t wait to use, and am certain will bring me some comfort is the Owlet Monitor. This monitor uses hospital technology to alert parents if their babies stop breathing. Check it out here if you’re interested. You can also use this link to receive $20 off of the purchase of one! I’m also excited to use this baby bouncer!
For her room: We bought this dresser and these sheets for her crib. I also bought these rattlers, along with this unicorn and mermaid stuffed animal for her room. I’m on the hunt for wall hangings… and I’m kind of into this flamingo!
For me: I’ve received a lot of questions about my jeans. I wear most of my pre-pregnancy jeans with a bellaband. I recently purchased this sweater dress as it should work for the remaining weeks as the belly continues to grow. A few favorite, stretchy basics include this stripe top and these solid tops (I sized up two sizes in these). I also recently purchased this boho top and love that it will work both in these last few weeks and post-baby bump.